Contemporary Author: Nicholson Baker

Nicholson Baker apparently was to be The Shit, the new literary star of the American Literary World after he wrote Mezzanine in which a man thinks a book’s worth of random stuff on his way down an escalator. It is supposed to be THE Baker book to read but I haven’t been able to get back to him after the embarrassment of the two I have read. He has written a lot of interesting-looking non-fiction which I’ll probably never get to. In all fairness I think I started on Baker in the worst way with these two books:

Vox (Latin for voice) has as its gimmicky premise a conversation on a party line (one of those 800 number chat lines advertised late at night) between a man and a woman. Of course neither of them have done this kind of thing before and of course they are both extremely witty and intelligent conversationalists. They make upper middle brow observations about things which you might smile at but you’ll forget about. And then in case you’d be disappointed there is some sex talk, but about all that I’ll say no more. Ultimately this kind of aimless postmodern clever banter, a kind of “did ya ever notice how…” scrutiny of the quotidian that gets old really fast and leaves you with an empty calorie feeling. It is (pseudo) intellectual junk food. I wouldn’t recommend it unless you have WAY too much time on your hands and you’re curious. This book was made famous because Monica Lewinsky gave a copy to Bill Clinton. Now doesn’t that just say everything.

The Fermata is—have no doubt—pornography. If anybody tries to tell you it is something much more than that, something more literary or hiply audacious, do not believe them. It might as well be the product of an extremely well-versed fourteen year old boy addicted to tits and ass and beating his dick four times a day. It is a chaptered Penthouse Forum brought together by the wonderfully perverse armature of a man who can stop time at will and does the kinds of things that our fourteen year old would do to the various hot babes he “cums” across. The premise has some potential but it goes right to the bottom of the sock drawer with the dirty magazines. It is funny at times? Yes. Is it witty at times? Yes. Is it anything but a sometimes funny, sometimes witty series of explicit, crude fuck fantasies broken up by a thin and unrealized sci-fi-ish plot? No. The fourteen year old grew up and got a book deal. Watch out.